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25-Feb-2017 11:34

If there is no physical contact or actual sex, is it still an affair?

“It’s not just that you’re communicating with someone online but that there is a sexual or emotional nature,” says Katherine Hertlein, Ph D, an associate professor at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas who studies online affairs.

Couple this with the fact that he had sex with yet ANOTHER coworker, and another woman (not from his place of employment, thank god) whom he had slept with was dropping “tee he hees! (Barf.) I had to dig to find all of these interactions, he never told me up front that before we started dating, he had established these kinds of relationships with people with whom he worked 50 hours a week, or that they continued.

And yet even when things got more serious, we became an official couple, yadda yadda, I still found stuff like this on his phone or computer.

Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer.

He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.

Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.

He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.

Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.

The typical affair used to start in the office and move to a seedy motel room, but the vast reach of the Internet has brought infidelity into many couples’ homes over the past decade.