Problems dating much older man

28-Jun-2016 03:10

Dear Christine, I started dating a man and we have an amazing connection. I had NEVER considered or imagined I would be drawn to someone so much older. Do I turn away what seems to be my perfect match because of the age gap?We have endless and effortless conversations about the myriad interests we share, he's hilarious (and he thinks I am too), we share the same values in life, I feel like I can be 100% myself with him. Let me be clear, I'm not drawn to him because he "fathers me." I have a great, solid relationship with my dad and have no issues there. Woman B: Twenty-seven and he recently turned 42 (we're still together). We discovered we had a lot of interests in common and became good friends. Most of the men I dated more casually at the time were in their 30s. It also made me feel special — this man seemed so much more worldly than the men my age, and the fact that he was interested in me seemed too good to be true. Woman D: Originally I think I was flattered that somebody who had experienced so much of life was interested in me. Woman B: I rented a flat in the backyard of his then-girlfriend. But I knew he was probably 10 years older than me and that was a little bit of the attraction, because I thought that he would be older and more settled with none of the bullshit that you have in your 20s.From the outside it was an idyllic scene — one I can still conjure up to this day.Sun flooded the terrace of our detached house in rural France, and the champagne flowed freely as my husband and I hosted a barbecue at our new home. My friend (who was my age and in high school with me) worked at a ski resort near us. He's always been attracted to a person's personality. He actually thought I was older than I am, and both his wives were close to him in age. I've had crushes and done the odd online date, but I'd never dated seriously before. We started dating and it developed into a relationship shortly after. Woman D: We met initially at a mutual friend's house. Selecting a much younger partner increased the odds of him finding such a person. He has had three other serious relationships and they were all age-appropriate.

He revelled in the praise his friends piled on him for enjoying the perfect lifestyle — a stunning house and, of course, the icing on the cake, a nubile young wife. I watched with morbid fascination as my husband — sporting a pair of comfortable loose-fitting trousers, calf-length brown socks and his favourite Velcro-strapped sandals — strutted about our terrace like a bantam cockerel.

Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.

We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.

I know he's not old enough to really be my father, but he's up there.

It's really a case of two kindred spirits being separated by a lot of numerical years. - Old Soul, 27 Dear Old Soul, Just the fact that you are presenting this question makes me wonder if you already know the answer.

He revelled in the praise his friends piled on him for enjoying the perfect lifestyle — a stunning house and, of course, the icing on the cake, a nubile young wife. I watched with morbid fascination as my husband — sporting a pair of comfortable loose-fitting trousers, calf-length brown socks and his favourite Velcro-strapped sandals — strutted about our terrace like a bantam cockerel.Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too. We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her. I know he's not old enough to really be my father, but he's up there.It's really a case of two kindred spirits being separated by a lot of numerical years. - Old Soul, 27 Dear Old Soul, Just the fact that you are presenting this question makes me wonder if you already know the answer.I met Bob at a restaurant on a summer afternoon in 2014.