Decoding dating profiles

26-Jan-2016 01:16

He has the cutest smile, a suave haircut, and has even quoted Kafka in his bio.Ladies, you might think that he is the perfect book-reading cutie you never thought you'd meet on a dating website, but is there more than meets the eye?Given that most people are only a swipe away from dating oblivion, you'd think that guys (and girls, of course, if that's your thing) out there might try a little harder to attract your attention.Sadly, most people are saying very little but a slightly different version of the same 20 or so things - most of them as empty and meaningless as a blow job in a train station in 1973. "Might be time for some strings attached." Here I am on a sex app, a bit of tech that was created by somebody who wanted to make it easier for people to have sex with perfect strangers, using it to look for sex.But of course, rather than say that I want a relationship and rule myself out of any anonymous boning, I'll only say that I 'might' be looking. "Tall, dark and handsome to the front of the queue." War-torn Afghanistan has nothing on the devastation caused by the hordes vying for my affections.

It’s quite another if he sneakily attempts to pretend that a friend took a “sexy picture” of him when he actually did.

If he can’t even be bothered filling in the profile what does that tell you? Looking for someone special This says: “I want to make it look like I’m not just on here for sex.” The verdict: Everyone is special to someone, yes we know that’s mushy but it’s something to keep in mind. And then I realised it might not be so incredibly thrilling.” The verdict: Most normal people don’t have crazy, amazing, non-stop lives. If you like some of the things on their profile maybe try a few messages to get to know them. [Quirky profile full of obscure authors and musicians] This says: “I really want to stand out from the crowd and let you know that I’m educated/hilarious/individual. And when they’re showing you their extensive collection of novelty hats on the third date, don’t say we didn’t warn you, 8. Looks are secondary This says: “I am not a shallow man.” The verdict: He is a shallow man, masquerading as someone who isn’t.

I love my job This says: “Cripes after writing that I just realised…

Decoding a guys dating profile isn’t easy, if you have ever used a dating site/app have you ever really read the profiles? If you have you will notice a lot of phrases and clichés across them, and then when you chat to the people behind the profiles, maybe even meet them, you will find out what these phrases actually mean.

Or to save you the time I have a list on decoding a guys dating profile, or if you are already coupled off then look at all the ‘fun’ you are missing out on. The life I do have is not something I want to broadcast. I get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch the soaps and then spend the rest of the evening trying to think up ways to lie on my dating profile to make me seem interesting. Most people’s family are pretty darn important to them, what this means is “I am a mummy’s boy and she rules my life, save yourself now, you will never be good enough and mummy dearest will make your life hell if you so much as dream of a life with me”I always seem to attract the weirdos or I scare everyone away with my own creepy talk until the point they are forced to block me, which I then take as game playing and messing me around.

It’s quite another if he sneakily attempts to pretend that a friend took a “sexy picture” of him when he actually did.If he can’t even be bothered filling in the profile what does that tell you? Looking for someone special This says: “I want to make it look like I’m not just on here for sex.” The verdict: Everyone is special to someone, yes we know that’s mushy but it’s something to keep in mind. And then I realised it might not be so incredibly thrilling.” The verdict: Most normal people don’t have crazy, amazing, non-stop lives. If you like some of the things on their profile maybe try a few messages to get to know them. [Quirky profile full of obscure authors and musicians] This says: “I really want to stand out from the crowd and let you know that I’m educated/hilarious/individual. And when they’re showing you their extensive collection of novelty hats on the third date, don’t say we didn’t warn you, 8. Looks are secondary This says: “I am not a shallow man.” The verdict: He is a shallow man, masquerading as someone who isn’t. I love my job This says: “Cripes after writing that I just realised… Decoding a guys dating profile isn’t easy, if you have ever used a dating site/app have you ever really read the profiles? If you have you will notice a lot of phrases and clichés across them, and then when you chat to the people behind the profiles, maybe even meet them, you will find out what these phrases actually mean.Or to save you the time I have a list on decoding a guys dating profile, or if you are already coupled off then look at all the ‘fun’ you are missing out on. The life I do have is not something I want to broadcast. I get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch the soaps and then spend the rest of the evening trying to think up ways to lie on my dating profile to make me seem interesting. Most people’s family are pretty darn important to them, what this means is “I am a mummy’s boy and she rules my life, save yourself now, you will never be good enough and mummy dearest will make your life hell if you so much as dream of a life with me”I always seem to attract the weirdos or I scare everyone away with my own creepy talk until the point they are forced to block me, which I then take as game playing and messing me around.Thing is, I don't want people to think I'm only here for the sex, oh no.